I do like the way you are introducing us to your characters. I find that getting to know them in this more introspective way is whetting my appetite for more. I am not so curious about the arc of the story as I am about the people I am getting to know. Keep layering it all in, weaving the people in with the community and the land. Nice!
Hi, Marylee, I love the photo! Fun and inviting...The story progresses. If I might make a small suggestion...when stuff is happening and the story characters get excited, people don't often talk in complete sentences. They often interrupt each other as opposed to waiting for the speaker to finish a thought. It's a suggestion only....I'm enjoying your story....
Thanks Colleen!! I appreciate your suggestion. I’ve done that somewhere 😉, maybe another story. I will definitely keep that in mind.
Perfect timing too. I’m working on the next chapter where everyone comes over to Riley’s house for dinner. Interruptions should flow as well as the wine!
This was a longer scene than the ones I have read before, so much more satisfying. The tension is building. Funny coincidence: we stumbled upon the Netflix series Territory last night in which ranch rivalries loom. You might take a look. The characters are easier to differentiate on TV than in books where you rely on adjectival description 😉.
First off, I love the photo of the garden you created. I just stared at it. Beautiful!! Your story includes friendship and intrigue. Whitman was bold to comment about Raven's technique in front of a large crowd. Rude actually. I hope Raven will not be bothered by him. I'm liking your story and can picture everything!
Thanks Barbara!! The thing about Whitman is, every story needs to have an antagonist. Of course, we have the internal strife going on with the Women of the Canyon.
However, Whitman brings another dimension to Raven’s goals. Just you wait to see what develops!!!
I do like the way you are introducing us to your characters. I find that getting to know them in this more introspective way is whetting my appetite for more. I am not so curious about the arc of the story as I am about the people I am getting to know. Keep layering it all in, weaving the people in with the community and the land. Nice!
Hi, Marylee, I love the photo! Fun and inviting...The story progresses. If I might make a small suggestion...when stuff is happening and the story characters get excited, people don't often talk in complete sentences. They often interrupt each other as opposed to waiting for the speaker to finish a thought. It's a suggestion only....I'm enjoying your story....
Thanks Colleen!! I appreciate your suggestion. I’ve done that somewhere 😉, maybe another story. I will definitely keep that in mind.
Perfect timing too. I’m working on the next chapter where everyone comes over to Riley’s house for dinner. Interruptions should flow as well as the wine!
Thanks again!!
This was a longer scene than the ones I have read before, so much more satisfying. The tension is building. Funny coincidence: we stumbled upon the Netflix series Territory last night in which ranch rivalries loom. You might take a look. The characters are easier to differentiate on TV than in books where you rely on adjectival description 😉.
Email tucsonpots@gmail.com or text 520-981-5995
Can we communicate another way?
Would you like to trade beta reading on our books? I have been a book editor, and I need a beta reader for my Moxie Cosmos mysteries.
Hi Karen! What’s your timeline and story premise? I’m very interested and need to make sure I can do it!
First off, I love the photo of the garden you created. I just stared at it. Beautiful!! Your story includes friendship and intrigue. Whitman was bold to comment about Raven's technique in front of a large crowd. Rude actually. I hope Raven will not be bothered by him. I'm liking your story and can picture everything!
Thanks Barbara!! The thing about Whitman is, every story needs to have an antagonist. Of course, we have the internal strife going on with the Women of the Canyon.
However, Whitman brings another dimension to Raven’s goals. Just you wait to see what develops!!!