Why Is It So Hard to Make Friends Now?
And how to finally change that.
When we were young, it was so easy to make friends. What’s so different now that we’re in our 60s, 70s and older?
As kids, making friends was effortless.
You just showed up, said “Want to play?”—and off you went.
No overthinking. No hesitation. Just connection.
Then we grew up.
We got burned.
We got busy.
And one day, we looked around…
And realized we were lonely.
Why Does It Feel So Hard?
If you’ve ever felt like everyone else has a close circle but you, you’re not alone. Over half of adults feel lonely on a regular basis.
We assume friendships should just happen like they did when we were younger. But life doesn’t work that way anymore.
Why? A few things get in the way:
We’re creatures of habit. As kids, we made friends through school and activities. As adults, we fall into routines that don’t naturally introduce us to new people.
Rejection feels personal. As kids, if someone didn’t want to play, we moved on. As adults, rejection stings. We wonder if we’re boring, awkward, or just too late.
We assume everyone else is already set. It’s easy to believe that other people already have their friend groups locked in. This has been a big one for me. But, I’ve come to realize that most people are open to new friendships, they just don’t know how to start them.
We forget that friendships take effort. Now, life pulls us in different directions. Friendships don’t just happen anymore—we have to create space for them.
What Can We Do About It?
