Why Is It So Hard to Make Friends Now?

And how to finally change that.

When we were young, it was so easy to make friends. What’s so different now that we’re in our 60s, 70s and older?

As kids, making friends was effortless.

You just showed up, said “Want to play?”—and off you went.

No overthinking. No hesitation. Just connection.

Then we grew up.

We got burned.

We got busy.

And one day, we looked around…

And realized we were lonely.

Why Does It Feel So Hard?

If you’ve ever felt like everyone else has a close circle but you, you’re not alone. Over half of adults feel lonely on a regular basis.

We assume friendships should just happen like they did when we were younger. But life doesn’t work that way anymore.

Why? A few things get in the way:

We’re creatures of habit. As kids, we made friends through school and activities. As adults, we fall into routines that don’t naturally introduce us to new people.

Rejection feels personal. As kids, if someone didn’t want to play, we moved on. As adults, rejection stings. We wonder if we’re boring, awkward, or just too late.

We assume everyone else is already set. It’s easy to believe that other people already have their friend groups locked in. This has been a big one for me. But, I’ve come to realize that most people are open to new friendships, they just don’t know how to start them.

We forget that friendships take effort. Now, life pulls us in different directions. Friendships don’t just happen anymore—we have to create space for them.

What Can We Do About It?

Here’s what works—even if you’re starting over.

If you’re truly serious about building new friendships at this stage in your life, follow these tips. Commit and show up!

Show up where connections happen. Join something—a book club, a gardening group, a community class. Friendships grow in repeated interactions.

Be the one who reaches out first. If you enjoy someone’s company, don’t wait. A simple “Want to grab coffee?” is all it takes.

Look for the ‘friendship green lights. Pay attention to people who share your humor, values, or energy. That’s a sign of natural connection.

Accept that not every attempt will stick. Some will fizzle. That’s not failure—it’s just the sorting process.

Friendship in Life’s Next Chapters

This theme of navigating friendships—finding them, keeping them, trusting them—is at the heart of Life’s Threads. In my stories, women are constantly building and rebuilding the relationships that shape them.

Because no matter what stage of life we’re in, friendship isn’t a luxury—it’s a lifeline.

So if you’ve been feeling disconnected, I’ll remind you of this: It’s never too late. Your people are out there. And the next time you meet someone you click with, take the leap—because friendship, like anything worth having, starts with a single step.

Have you felt this too?

Drop a comment and share where you’ve found your people—or where you’re still searching.