Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

At this stage in life, is saying yes about possibility—or purpose?

I’ve said yes to plenty over the years—because it was familiar, because I could, or because someone else thought it was a good idea.

But recently, a familiar opportunity came back around. And for the first time, I didn’t say yes.

Keep reading: A surprising conversation with my AI assistant (yes, really) helped me get honest about what I really want in this chapter of life.

A Familiar Idea Resurfaces

For weeks, a thought kept tugging at the back of my mind.

The free preview ends here. Paid subscribers, read on for the conversation that helped me get honest about what I really want—and what I’ve finally let go of.

I’d been reading about a hybrid coaching model—a blend of self-study courses and live group sessions. It reminded me of something I once considered for my gardening business: an eight-week container gardening program with structured lessons and Q&A calls.

The idea made sense. I have decades of experience teaching desert container gardening. I already have a solid bundle of courses. It seemed doable with a bit of marketing and a few live coaching sessions.

But something felt… off.

The Conversation That Shifted Everything

So, I did what I often do when I’m unsure—I talked it out with Niros (yes, I’ve named my AI assistant). I asked it to play devil’s advocate, not just echo supportive ideas. It knows my goals at this stage of life: not taking on too much, avoiding shiny objects, staying true to what matters.

Niros challenged me:

• Would this feel energizing—or just like another obligation?

• Would it move me forward—or keep me tethered to a past chapter?

• If I had the same amount of time to invest elsewhere, what would excite me?

Then it said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“You’re at a turning point where your fiction is ready to grow, and that’s where your heart is. If the gardening program isn’t pulling you in with excitement, it’s just a distraction. You’ve already put in 30 years of gardening education—maybe that chapter doesn’t need reopening.”

The Honest Answer

I sat with that for a moment.

It was true.

I didn’t want to run a gardening program. I could, sure—but was that enough of a reason?

No.

And when Niros floated a simpler option, like a Q&A series, I had an immediate, gut-level no. That told me everything I needed to know.

So, I let it go. And I haven’t looked back.

The Lesson?

Sometimes, we say yes to things just because we can—not because we should.

We justify it. It makes sense. It’s easy. It’s what we’ve always done.

But the real question is: Does it move us toward what we truly want?

For me, the answer was clear.

I’m putting my time and energy into my fiction, building a paid subscriber plan for my stories, and into what excites me.

And that gardening program? It’s no longer even a blip on my radar.

What About You?

Have you ever had to let go of something that made sense on paper but wasn’t what you truly wanted?

Tell me your story—I’d love to hear it.