“I’m not returning to the woman I used to be.”

Raven’s first shared journal entry

A private moment with Raven, fitting when my debut novel, Whispers of Echo Canyon, is released.

Raven’s Secret Journal entries are usually only for Story Insiders. But since Whispers of Echo Canyon just launched, this one’s for everyone.

Consider it an invitation into Raven’s thoughts and her recently published story, following her towards a choice she never expected to face again.

Raven, the star of my debut novel, is the steady one, the therapist, the horse trainer, the woman who makes room for everybody else. But in her first journal entry, she says something she’s never said out loud. I’m not sure she’s even admitted it to herself.

It’s not dramatic. It’s a simple sentence. But it holds a truth she’s been avoiding.

And once a woman says the thing she’s been avoiding, the rest of the story starts to move.

Months after deciding she was done traveling, she received an offer from the National Equine Therapeutics Council that would increase her prestige and pull her far from Echo Canyon for three months. She can do it. Of course she can. But what the women around her see is the real tension. Should she?

If you’d like to read the story, The Choice that Shifted the Ground, click below.

Do I want this to become my life now?

Below is Raven’s journal from that day

Raven’s Journal

The organizer said, “If you cannot come to us, perhaps we should come to you. Would you consider hosting the training in Echo Canyon?”

I did not tell them everything.

Sam thinks I am deciding between two good paths, but he does not understand the weight of being seen again. Not just in Echo Canyon. Nationally.

I felt something move in me when I saw that message. A small, sharp reminder that I once had a life outside the canyon walls. Competitions. Clinics. Rooms where my name meant something.

I told myself I was finished with that. And maybe I am. But the offer sat in my chest all day like warm sun, refusing to cool.

I also did not tell them how tired I am sometimes. Not from the work. The work is simple. Horses are honest. People are not. Building this training center means I am responsible for every life that walks onto this land. I chose that. I do not regret it. But the thought of leaving, even briefly, made me see how much rests on my shoulders.

They think I turned down the travel because I am rooted here. That is true. But it is not the whole truth.

The truth is, I am afraid of returning to the person I used to be. Not because she was unworthy. Because she was never still, she chased everything. She said yes without thinking. She measured her worth by the size of the rooms that wanted her.

I do not want to slip back into that woman by accident.

Hosting the program here would be different. I could stay on my land, with my people, with the horses who know my hands. But even then, I wonder what I am opening the door to. Attention. Crowds. Expectations. All the things I worked hard to quiet.

Shikáni believes in this. I felt that in her voice. And I trust her. If I say yes, it will be because of her steady presence, not because I want the spotlight.

Maybe that’s the pivot I am making now.

Not away from opportunity.

Toward the life that fits me.

I will not show this to anyone.

Not because I am hiding.

Because some decisions must be worked out in silence.

~~

Want more of Raven?

This journal entry is a glimpse into the private moments that don’t make it into the published book. But Raven’s full story ~ how she got here, what she chooses, what it costs ~ is waiting for you in Whispers of Echo Canyon.

If you want more journal entries from Raven and the other women of the canyon, come inside as a paid subscriber.